Undercover Lover
by cinder16
Summary: Deidara is an Iwa anbu who is put undercover at a local Inn to kill his target, Kakuzu. As leader of a raidors band, Kakuzu has a heady mix of enemies, but not one like Deidara. Can the blonde save his own life in the end by taking Kakuzu's or will he have to die in the process? Will the immortal surive this test of wills? Lemon, yaoi, LONG ONESHOT. Emotional ending. PLEASE REVIEW!


"Fuck me."

Deidara grumbled under his breath utter frustration as he stood in the outright uncomfortable slate gray office of his superior. His superior, Commander Ishida always liked to make him squirm. The blonde swore that the man had it out for him ever since their 'Incident' nearly a year ago. He grinned comically to himself just as the door to the blasé office opened to reveal the man of the hour himself, Commander Ishida. Ishida raked a rough stare over the blonde waiting by his desk and marched to take his seat across without as much as an introduction before nearly throwing a file into his subordinates face.

"What the fuck is this shit?!" Ishida snarled with so much venomous rage that Deidara almost cringed. "I wanted this target taken out discreetly! Why couldn't you just go along with the disguise and play the coy women!"

Ishida rubbed a hand through his thick ebony hair and down the five o'clock shadow running along his jaw from the lack of sleep. He hated paperwork and hell; this acrogenous bastard was making him a fucking mountain to sift through. If only he hadn't got stuck with this freak of nature, he could have simply got himself a pretty village girl and had the time of his life, but no. No, he was trapped into training a womanly looking man with a swift declaration of love for the _finer_ arts. Ishida's thoughts soured at the thought of Deidara's arts. The craters in the military training grounds were proof of such skills. Speaking of which,

"Sir?" The bomber asked in questioning tone. "I didn't mean to blow the mission. If it means anything, the mission was a success with minimal damages."

The older, dark haired man scoffed. Were they seriously having this conversation?

"Deidara chan." Ishida said his tone turning more vicious as their conversation progressed. "You blew this mission sky high and there were more damages than you know. You tore that Tea House to its foundation without a moment's hesitation when the target suggested you'd be an easy lay! I can't believe something so-so amateur as throwing a womanly fit! You ARE my subordinate! You are mine to do with as I see fit and I say that you will NOT mess this mission up or I will bury you so far under this base that no one will ever find your rotting remains!"

Deidara tried to hide the raging hate he had for his boss. He wasn't at the Tea House. He didn't see what had happened. His actions were surely justified, right? The bomber chewed on his lower lip thoughtfully, all the while, taking Ishida's life threating anger in careful stride. There surely had to be a way to make this asshole happy with his work ethic. Pondering this, Deidara stared back at his superior as he flicked the thick blonde fringe from in front of his eye. Ishida stared back unblinkingly. God, how he hated this deformed asshole and his freakish extra mouths. Bloodline trait his ass.

"You have ONE last chance to prove yourself useful, Solider 8954." Commander Ishida said darkly, his disposition becoming immediately estranged. "If you do not accomplish this mission with complete success, you will be permanently disposed of. I don't want a single check on your mission scroll to be overlooked. Do you hear me?"

Chills erupted over the blondes sensitive skin while be scrutinized by the elder man. He sounded serious as hell and there would be no way in hell he could charm his way out of this mess. Guess, there's only one thing to do.

"Yes sir." Deidara answered stiffly. "I will acquire the mission information from Major Jodan and the mission will go perfectly."

Ishida's dark brown eyes narrowed at the blondes cobalt gaze before sliding a scroll from inside of his desk and handing it over to the other man.

"No need to go to Jodan. I have the information here and I want you to work on your femininity issues by going undercover as a female villager. Report to your host family at the Fokutsa Inn twenty miles east of the Hidden Waterfall Village. Many missing nins cross there for lodging and food so you will surely come across the target and his gang. Do as the Fokutsa family orders you and deal with whatever comes your way as an Iwa solider, instead of a spoiled little girl."

Deidara took the scroll, turned his back curtly from his commander, and strode out of the office quickly in order not to make a scene. Of Lord, how he wanted to strangle the man. The bomber barely made it out in the hallway before slamming his fist into the drywall. He was going to hate this mission with a passion.

* * *

Location: Fokutsa Family Inn 1:37am

Kakuzu pulled his thick black coat closer to his body as he neared the well known Inn near his home village. The cold autumn air made both him and his squad feel the impact of soon coming winter. Already, the whinier men have said their parts of how they wanted to rest, recoup, and gather supplies before it starts to snow.

"Come on, Kuzu san." One of the youngest men of his squad whined tiredly. "Are you so cheap that you'd let us all freeze?"

The ex-Taki nin glanced in the man's direction, pondering if he should kill him or not. His Christmas colored eyes glittered with malicious intent. He hated spending his hard earned money and a good slaughter should keep their bitchy asses in line.

"I agree." One of the veteran gang members said firmly. "We aren't immortal like you, sir. We _need_ to be able to rest after last night's raid. Anbu never come as far as the Fokutsa Inn. You of all people should know this."

Kakuzu scowled under his mask. He knew perfectly well of how far the Anbu from the Hidden Waterfall would go to attain a target. They were right after all. If it took a day or two in this Inn to calm their frazzled nerves, it may as well make it worth his while.

"Fine." He affirmed in his normally gruff voice. "Pay me for your rooms and meals. Then you can do as you please."

Most of the men in the large group stopped in their tracks at hearing this condition. Pay him?! Seriously?! The more veteran men of the group glowered harshly at their leader. They knew him well, but to charge them after all their hard work? That man would charge a prostitute for the pleasure of his company rather than pay for a good night rolling in the sheets. Still, rather than arguing and being forced to trek their way all the way to the other side of the country, the men pulled out their wallets and paid the miser for the night.

Deidara couldn't believe his luck. He had arrived shortly before midnight so that almost all the customers would be asleep, but what he arrived to pissed him off to no end. The middle aged couple who ran the Inn were smiling and holding back their snickers as he tugged on the thick autumn waitress kimono he was wearing. The bright white and soft pink lotus flowers donning as a pattern made the man's long blonde hair seem nearly angelic. He felt like a drag queen bride with all the trimmings. It didn't help that his _Nanna_ as he was supposed to address her as kept tying his hair in all kind of intricate ways. He had to deal with his _Father, Mother, Nanna, and little Brother._ The entire little family joined in on this escapade to stop this destructive target. Luckily, his little brother was in bed like all the other patrons.

"Taddaa."Nanna chimed happily. "You look ready to take the front desk till morning."

Nodding their agreement, the rest of the family turned away and went to bed swiftly, leaving the bomber alone in charge. Deidara sighed, trying to relax himself all the while adjusting the sash of his white and pink kimono. Just as the infuriating fabric got into a comfortable position, the clack of the front door rang across the empty foyer. The blonde glanced up from the polished desk he was working at. What kind of moron would come in at nearly two in the morning? Looking at his new customers, Deidara was surprised to see a darkly tanned man wearing a long jacket and a mask coming right up to him followed by a huge posse. Did they have enough rooms to house this many men? It looked like a miniature army was taking root in the lobby.

"Good morning sir." Deidara carefully said in his best womanly voice. "How may I help you?"

Kakuzu looked at the _woman_ at the lobby's desk. He hadn't seen such a vision in a long time. Her long blonde hair was twisted in a loose bun, she wore long satin gloves, and a beautiful fall kimono. Lord, if he was a lesser man he'd be slobbering like a hound dog at her heels. If only he was at least sixty years younger…

"Yes." He growled in a calm retort. "I want ten rooms. All with something hot to eat."

The blonde furrowed his arched brows at the direct order. He wasn't a cook by any means and he wasn't one to take orders, undercover or not.

"I'm not a servant, _**Sir**_. You're going to have to wait until morning to-"

A hard thump, stopped Deidara in his tracks. Sitting on top of the receptionist desk a large, bound stack of cold hard cash stared back at him. It was much more than the cost of couple rooms.

"I'm hungry." The tan man growled sternly. "There's a good tip in it for at least a hot bowl of noodles. I'm not picky."

Deidara eyed the cash idly. A tip? He didn't have to report any extra earnings did he? Either way, a little cash wasn't a bad idea. His host family already showed him where the kitchen was and he was a decent enough cook when the time called for it. The blonde nodded somberly and turned his back to the men to grab the room keys from the bottom drawer of the hidden cubby hole. Kakuzu watched her as cooly as possible. Sadly, he wasn't the only one. The men behind him were in the same boat as him. Fortunately, he had a mask to hide behind while the others weren't so lucky. Kakuzu swallowed a lump in his throat when he saw the girls' tight little ass bounce and giggle from the other side of the counter. Damn, if she didn't have all the goods in all the right places. Maybe a little flat chested, but who cares if the sex is good.

"Daaaammmnnnn." A few of the men in his group groaned deviously.

The others conceded themselves with a low whistle of approvement. Kakuzu tried to keep the cat calls from his men under control, but what was lost in watching the gorgeous view in front of him. The view from behind quickly changed when the pretty little blonde bombshell hopped back up and greeted him with shining cerulean eyes and a sweet toothy smile that was nearly enough to floor him. Damn, if he didn't have a raging hard on right under his coat.

"Here they are." She chimed with the diabetically sweet grin. "The keys all have the numbers on them. Since it's so late I can deliver your meals to your respective rooms in about half an hour. Is that alright?"

Kakuzu swallowed again. Half an hour was just the perfect amount of time he needed to reconcile with his current _problem_. Nodding slowly, he took the keys in his large, darkly tanned hands and tossed them at random to the group of gaggling men. The blonde gave him yet another overly sugared smirk before retreating into another room to begin cooking a late supper for them.

Kakuzu thanked the power possessing him that he was able to keep his cool around this little vixen of a woman. He had paced his private room in disdain. He wanted her bad enough to actually offer her more money to stay the night. More money? What the hell was getting into him?! If it wasn't life or death, he wasn't going to pay for it. No way in hell. He had paid extra for the food because he was starving, but that was his once in a year charity bit. No way! There was no way he'd be so weak that he'd actually-

* * *

A short knock clacked against his door. The older man's jumbled thoughts ceased as he approached the door, keeping his hand at close reach to a hidden kunai. Better safe than sorry any day. On the other side of the door, Deidara had stared casually at his cooking. The roasted meat and peppers he made would have been a good item to lace if he had actually decided to drug the giant of a man. He was his target after all, but something didn't wash with the bomber. He didn't know why, but if things went down, he didn't want to be cornered by his army. With that being said, he put the mini cartel of medicines and drugs back with his uniform and weapons before pushing the tiny cart to the leaders private chambers.

"Excuse me." Deidara purred sweetly. "Sir, I have the food you requested."

The dark wood door clicked open, revealing Kakuzu's quizzical green and red gaze. Deidara studied the man back. There was no way he could take this guy hand to hand. He looked like a bodybuilder under a cloak. Kakuzu didn't say anything to the blonde. He simply stepped aside and opened the door further to allow access of the cart. Taking the small gesture into consideration, Deidara rolled the metal cart inside and did his best not to look at the larger man too long. If he looked too suspicious, he'd be taken down like a rabid dog. Any ninja worth their salt could easily detect a bad disguise and this man was no different. Before his hands left the cart, the other man had already pulled the lid off the still hot peppers, meat, and generous portion of stew and was inspecting it for any abnormalities. Oh yeah, he's a keeper.

"Would you like to join me, ma`am?" Kakuzu asked innocently.

Innocent his ass. Deidara knew it was a clever trick to force a lesser ninja to poisoning themselves instead of the intended target, but it wouldn't work. He was so glad that he didn't poison the meal.

"Sure." The blonde answered in a singsong voice.

He caught the man off guard. Kakuzu physically raised an eyebrow at the pirky little blonde. Either they were completely legit or a master koinichi, but the elder man was more than willing to find out by nights end.

"So, you're a receptionist and a chef?" Kakuzu asked, trying to make small talk to loosen the woman up a little.

The tiny blonde woman sat next to him at the end of his bed, picking at the red peppers on her plate. Setting down the plate, she turned toward him with those beautiful oceanic blue doe eyes and actually giggled cutely before nodding affirmingly.

"Not just that." Deidara answered. "I do a lot of things here at the Inn."

Grinning like a wolf, the older man hoped that her answer was more than some innocent reply. Deidara was honestly in shambles as he sat near the older man. The gruff voice, obvious muscle mass, and nice darkened skin was something that really turned him on. If he was really a woman, instead of a pretty man, he'd be screwing this guys brains out right now. There was no doubt that he could easily plow him into the floor just the way he liked it, but rules were rules. He had a job to finish or it'd be the death of him quite literally. Lost in thought, the bomber let a nervous blush slip past his defenses. Unfortunately, that was more than enough for the elder man to go in for the kill.

"Really?" Kakuzu asked, his voice husky.

Deidara's flesh broke out in gooseflesh at hearing that oh so sexy voice raking up his spine. He bit his lip and pressed his thighs together to try and contain the uncomfortable feeling rising between his legs. Oh crap! What if he found out he wasn't a woman. Ishida would have his head if he screwed up. In the few moments that he was distracted, Kakuzu had tenderly cupped the bombers cheek and pulled him toward him.

"Kiss me, please." He said erotically to the smaller man/woman.

Deidara parted his lips to try and figure out what to say, but was stopped when the soft material of Kakuzu's mask pressed against his mouth. Electricity whipped through the bombers body like a storm. No one could ever make him feel like this. It was impossible. Deidara gasped when another volt of electricity stormed through him. His legs quaking in ecstasy, he nearly went limp in the man's arms. Kakuzu grinned devilishly and lowered the edge of his mask before turning his attention to the side of the blonde's neck. Bombarded with love bites and nips, the bomber groaned low in his throat while his hands gripped the cloth of Kakuzu's thick jacket. The deep guttural mewl from the blonde caught the elders attention.

"It's a man." Kakuzu pondered calmly.

Deidara was near the point of praying as shudders of pleasures ripped through his body. He couldn't hardly contain the writhing and wriggling that made it so fucking hard to sit still with a hard on. The blonde groaned when Kakuzu bit into the side of his neck.

"Sir, please-"

"Call me Kakuzu."The older man growled sexily at hearing the others plea.

Deidara writhed and ground his hips reflexively into the air.

"Nnnnggghhh, Kuzu!"

The older man smiled so wide at the response that it actually stretched his facial stitches.

"Tell me what you want." He said huskily to the wild blonde. "Tell me how to fuck you."

Deidara gasped at the coarse nature of his words. The throbbing of the blonde's dick nearly overwhelmed him to the point of no return. Oh how he wanted this torture to end.

"I want it hard and I want it now." Deidara moaned with no regret or remorse.

Kakuzu's grin somehow widened even further. This was going to be the best night he had in a while. With that said, he shed his robe, hood, and mask before using his tentacle-like stitches to pull the silken kimono from Deidara's pale, lithe body. A small sense of shock swept through the blonde when he saw the stitches move and react on their own. The reports that he was given never mentioned this.

"D-Don't tease me anymore, Kuzu, un." The bomber pleaded in broken tones to his elder.

Kakuzu couldn't agree more. He was ready to end the long lonely nights he had to endure since becoming a missing nin. The immortal gently pressed the blonde back against his bed while enjoying the bright blush marring his lovers' cheeks. The bomber couldn't hold back the blood warming his cheeks. He was just so damned embarrassed and shock. Embarrassed because of how his body was reacting and shocked because he had expected Kakuzu to kill him once he saw that he was a man instead of a woman.

"That's it!" Deidara thought in utter surprise "He thinks that I'm a cross dresser! He doesn't know that I'm an Anbu!"

This was great news. There was still time to take this guy down there is still-

"Oh my God, un!"

The bombers body jerked spastically as Kuzu bit roughly onto the blondes' neck, reflexively making him grind his pelvis into the older man. He let out a tiny squeak as a mixture of pain and pleasure radiated from the wound mark into the rest of his body. Deidara groaned deeply in his throat in delight. That was it. He was lost to the feelings that won his senses and sanity. The man above him grinned like a Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland, completely unaware of how his actions were saving his life.

"NNgggghhhh." The bomber moaned breathlessly as Kakuzu switched up his form of attack.

Still writhing on the sheets below him, Kuzu observed the little blondes actions as one of his large tanned hands found their way around the pale, but leaking member of the other. He snickered slightly as he tugged at the organ to induce the reaction he was looking for.

"GAH! Ka-Kakuzu-!" Deidara moaned out loudly.

Yes. This was the reaction he was looking for. He bit his lip in anticipation of the possibilities with the younger man. A thousand ideas roamed his mind before he simply reacted by tossing the blonde onto his stomach.

"Suck." Kakuzu ordered, holding his hand near the bombers flushed face.

Deidara stared at him with a lust induced expression before nodding and taking the thick digits into his moist, wet mouth. It wasn't long before they were deemed atiquite that the older man pulled his hand free and went toward his main objective.

"Dat ass-." Kuzu growled appreciatively.

It wasn't until now that he got an eyeful of the beautiful ass that both he and his team were staring at earlier that night. Without a single thought, he groped the round, globe of flesh. His rough hand tightly squeezed the bombers bottom earning him a strangled cry of pleasure.

"You like this?" He questioned the mewling younger man.

Kakuzu smirked to himself as he open palmed slapped the blonde's gorgeous ass cheeks. He gasped again, grinding his ass back against his lovers erection.

"Fuck preparation!" Deidara yelled. "Fuck me NOW!"

Kakuzu couldn't say that he didn't laugh at the feisty mans orders. He never met someone so wild in the sheets before.

"As you wish."

The immortal shoved himself into the little man without much resistance. He rocked his hips roughly all the while watching the blonde's reaction. Deidara nearly screamed when Kuzu's thick cock ripped into him. A tangible and heady mix of pleasure and pain tore through his resistance. If he hadn't already lost his mind to the uncontrollable lust he felt, he was gone now. Gone, was the embarrassment; gone was his sense of control. Deidara rolled his hips against Kakuzu, pushing the pulsating cock deeper into himself. Oh, how long was he waiting for this? Too long, in his opinion at least.

"Ha—Harder, hmm!"

Kakuzu bit his lip and thrust rougher into the smaller man. If this kept up he wasn't going to last much longer. The needy cries from his lover made keeping his concentration harder than it already was.

"Kuzu!" Deidara cried out as he finally climaxed to the rough punishment.

The blondes inner walls tightened considerably on the elders dick, nearly milking Kakuzu for all he's worth. Kuzu moaned as the tight muscles rippled over his member causing him to lose control. He rode out the rest of his orgasm with his lover before exhaustion claimed him.

"Fuck-" Deidara exclaimed as Kakuzu laid next to him on the now messy bed.

Deidara wouldn't lie. This was his most intense mission ever. Hell, it may be his last if he didn't wake up and do his job instead of having wild and passionate sex.

"That's right!" The bomber thought as goose bumps rose on his flesh. "Commander Ishida's orders!"

The blonde looked around the room skeptically. Was there something here to use as a weapon against a giant like Kuzu-San? Deidara shook his head slightly. _KUZU-SAN?!_ What the hell was coming over him?! Luckily, the large tan man didn't see the bomber's self dialogue. Lying next to him, he looked peaceful, asleep even. Deidara grinned to himself darkly. Never underestimate a ninja. Turning his attention away, Dei saw the shiny glint of metal near the edge of the bed. Perfect. He reached over and pulled up Kakuzu's forgotten kunai.

"Too bad I can't make him into art, un." He thought to himself with a pout. "It would be much more of a blast to eliminate you and all of your teammates at once."

Pushing those thoughts aside, he swung the blade down upon his sleeping enemy.

* * *

"Wha—what the fuck, hmm!" Deidara screamed in anguish as thick blade stitches held him suspended nearly an inch off the floor away from his opponent.

Christmas colored eyes glared darkly at him from the other side of the room. Deidara hated himself for falling for the old _I'm asleep_ trick. It was ninja 101 to fuck up a trick like that.

"Who are you, really?" His lover snarled as he stepped toward his newly acquired captive.

The blonde grit his teeth. Being trapped was bad enough, but naked at the same time and at the mercy of a _tentacle-man_? Just great.

"I guess I'm dead now, huh?" The blonde whined discouragingly.

Kuzu narrowed his eyes at the blonde.

"Tell me or die."

"I'm dead anyway, you prick!" Deidara screamed. "Ishida's going to literally kill me for fucking up this mission! Even if I do win against you, I'm fucking dead! Hear me?! DEAD!"

The bomber dropped his head in shame as tears were welling up in his eyes. The life of a ninja was a rough one. It was pleasure one moment and pain the next. There was no stability as a ninja, an Anbu or even an artist. The bomber sniffed to hold back the racking sobs threatening to break free.

"Kill me."He said coldly to the immortal man. "End me and fucking go! I don't care anymore, un!"

Kakuzu approached Deidara cautiously. Was this a trick to let down his guard? A metallic clank caught his attention. The very blade that was used to attack him dropped out of the blonde's grasp and hit the floor. The immortal narrowed his eyes at the other man. He didn't like games, especially life and death ones.

"Don't fuck with me." Kuzu snarled as he yanked the blonde's jaw toward him.

Red and green gaze pierced Deidara's blue stare. Tears streaked down his face, slowly making their way onto Kakuzu's battle scarred knuckles. Kakuzu was sure that this was a trick of some kind. It had to be, right? Unfortunately, he was wrong. The racking sobs that the blonde was trying to control broke free like water to a dam. Deidara let out a scream of despair as he jerked his head free from Kakuzu's grasp. He couldn't control himself now. He felt like a wraith. At least as a wraith he would be able to quell his anguish and suffering in peace, but no. He was trapped at the mercy of a frighteningly powerful missing nin that could snap his neck in an instant.

"Fucking kill me already!" Deidara screamed with all his might.

A chill went up Kakuzu's spine at hearing that demand. He heard those very words before. Of course at that time, they were his own.

"_Fucking kill me already!"Kakuzu screamed at his Anbu superior before they threw his wounded body into a sealed cavern. _

_The tattoo markings on his body were still fresh to show the world what kind of traitor he was if he had ever managed to escape this place with his life._

Looking down at the thick twin brand marks on each wrist, Kakuzu loosened the wire suspending his prey. Deidara's trembling body lay limply on the hard wood floor of the Inn. He felt cold and lost. There was nothing left to take from him. The information, Kakuzu wanted was just as useless as he was.

"Get up."Kuzu's gruff voice ordered.

The bomber tilted his head, expecting to see an angry man with a blade ready. Instead, the darkly tanned Waterfall ninja sat in front of him pulling the black wires back into his body.

"What's the p-point?" Deidara chocked out from his now sore throat.

The anger entirely gone from his expression, Kakuzu grabbed his coat and laid it over the blondes trembling shoulders. The cloth swallowed the blonde man whole.

"The point is." Kuzu said with his index finger held up for emphasis. "I'm taking you hostage."

Deidara's cobalt eyes widened. What did he mean by hostage? A thin smile cracked Kakuzu's lips as he began to explain.

"You're mine. I'll be damned if I'm going to let the only decent fuck I have get executed over something as childish as a sex deprived Anbu commander."

The bomber couldn't help, but smile at the immortals coarse joke. It was true in fact that Commander Ishida always complained about better ways to spend his time than dealing with him.

"Do I have a choice, un?"

"No."

"Good, hmm."


End file.
